


Ash and Ember

by iaminarage



Series: Make Me Happy 'verse [14]
Category: Glee
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Prequel, Rebound, Zeke Michelakos, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 20:37:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9842768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iaminarage/pseuds/iaminarage
Summary: 5 times Blaine didn't know he was falling for Zeke (A prequel to Hold Our Breaths Tonight)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: This is the prequel to [Hold Our Breaths Tonight](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2572571), so it is, as always, a Make Me Happy Backstory ficlet. You can probably read these fics in either order and have it work. 
> 
> I've spent about two years suffering from deeply frustrating writer's block. I started this fic just around the time that was setting in, so, even though it is less than 5K, I've been working on it at the speed of molasses for two years almost to the day. So I really hope you guys like it, because this fic and I have been through a lot together. 
> 
> The title comes from [Ash and Ember](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgnfuxWaEuE) by Augustana.
> 
> Thank you so much to Scout451 and dievampiredie for the beta and for talking to me while I worked my way slowly through this !

**1**

Blaine was lost in his own thoughts on the way out of his writing class, so it took a few minutes for him to realize that he was walking fairly close to Max and Peter, two of the guys from his class. They'd just been assigned a new project, and Blaine was already thinking about what he and his partner should do, so he figured he might as well catch up to his classmates and see what they were thinking.

Just as Blaine made that decision, he caught a few words of their conversation. "I can't believe you get to work with Kelly and I have to work with that Zeke kid," Max said.

"He's the one that never talks, right?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, he's such an asshole. Every time I say so much as hi to him, he looks at me like I'm an alien. I don't know what his problem is."

Blaine felt a hot stab of anger run through him at that characterization of Zeke. He may not have had any idea what was going through Zeke's head most of the time, but he was sure that Max was wrong. Before he could think about it, he was taking a few long steps to catch up to them.

"Zeke's a good guy," he said. When Max and Peter looked shocked to see him, he continued, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but..." Blaine shrugged. "I really just wanted you to know that Zeke's nice once you get him talking."

"How did you get him talking?" Max asked, looking a bit embarrassed.

Blaine tried not to blush. "We met at orientation. Try emailing him to talk about the project. He's much better if he can write things."

“I guess,” Max replied, continuing to look completely uncomfortable. “I'm sorry. I didn't know you guys were friends.”

Blaine didn't correct Max’s characterization of his relationship with Zeke, because he had no idea what he'd correct it to. Besides, he'd probably already made this whole situation awkward enough.

“I have to get to class,” Blaine said, which was a complete lie, “but just give him a chance, okay? You have a good partner.”

“See you later,” Peter replied, clearly trying to diffuse the discomfort.

Blaine nodded and, for lack of a better plan, headed towards the dining hall to get lunch.

**2**

To Zeke:  
What are you up to right now?

Blaine dropped his phone down to the table in front of him and waited for a response. He really hoped that Zeke was free, because he really didn't want to go back to his room alone and wallow.

From Zeke:  
Just hanging out in my room doing some reading.

To Zeke:  
Want some company?

From Zeke:  
I have to finish this, but if you don't mind then sure!

Blaine sighed in relief and started to gather his stuff from his coffee shop table. By the time he'd crossed campus to Zeke’s dorm, he'd gone from disappointed to angry. He hoped Zeke was willing to listen to a rant.

When he got to Zeke’s door, the door was unlocked, which was a clear invitation to just come in. Still, he knocked quickly before he opened the door. He found Zeke sitting on his bed with a book in his hand. He smiled up at Blaine, but his expression turned quizzical as soon as he saw Blaine’s face.

Blaine walked straight across the room and crawled up onto Zeke’s bed, dropping his head onto Zeke’s thigh. “You can keep reading,” he said.

Zeke let one hand rest on Blaine’s head and stroked his hair softly as he continued reading. After about 20 minutes, Zeke closed his book and set it down. “Want to talk about it?”

Blaine nodded but didn’t lift his head. He'd stormed in here wanting to shout about how betrayed and foolish he felt, but now he just wanted a few more minutes. Zeke didn't push him to start talking. He just kept his fingers moving through Blaine’s hair.

Finally Blaine felt ready, so he dragged himself up so that he was sitting next to Zeke. “Have you ever seen the Free Credit Rating Today commercial?”

Zeke glared at him a bit playfully.

“What?” Blaine asked with a smile.

“Now I'm going to have that stuck in my head all day!”

Blaine couldn't help but laugh. “It's a terrible ear worm, isn't it?”

Zeke nodded. Blaine took a deep breath. He hated telling people about Cooper, but his story wouldn't make sense if Zeke didn't know. “The guy in that commercial is my brother.”

Zeke tilted his head to the side and looked at Blaine for a second. He had a feeling Zeke was using his artist’s eye to evaluate the family resemblance. After a minute, he relaxed, so Blaine figured he was done.

“He's been in LA for years trying to ‘make it,’” Blaine explained. “And his limited success doesn't seem to have humbled him much. Anyways, I haven't seen him since I got here, but he called last week to beg me to meet up. We were supposed to meet up for lunch today.”

At the words “supposed to,” Zeke reached out and took Blaine’s hand. Blaine was silent for a moment, and Zeke raised an eyebrow at him in an obvious question.

“He called me like 15 minutes before we were supposed to meet to tell me he'd just found out that J.J. Abrams does Pilates at this time, so he had to go to his class and try to meet him, so would I mind rescheduling?”

Zeke gave him an incredulous look.

“I know!” Blaine said, working up to righteous indignation again. “He ignored me for more than a month and now he's ditching me to go stalk a director?”

“Wow,” Zeke said, looking a little disgusted. “Your brother sounds like an asshole.”

Blaine had to pause for a second. He was pretty sure he'd never heard Zeke swear before. The fact that he was doing it now made Blaine feel like Zeke really did empathize with him.

Blaine let his head drop back against the wall behind them. “He really is. I just don't know why I keep giving him opportunities to be disappointing.”

“He's your brother,” Zeke said, as if that explained everything. And maybe it did. But Blaine wished desperately that it seemed to work both ways. 

“Do you have any siblings?” he asked. Zeke had spoken like someone who knew what he was talking about when it came to brothers.

Zeke dropped his gaze to their joined hands and spent a moment just rubbing Blaine’s thumb with his own. “Two younger brothers,” he finally said.

“You miss them?” Blaine asked, trying to guess at why that question had made Zeke withdraw.

Zeke nodded.

“Well they’re lucky to have someone like you as their brother,” Blaine said, and reached out to push Zeke’s hair back with his free hand. Zeke was as different from Cooper as it was possible for two people to be; he was sure Zeke was the kind of older brother who came through for his siblings.

“I don’t know,” Zeke said, squeezing Blaine's hand tightly. Then he leaned over and kissed Blaine.

Blaine couldn't tell if Zeke’s kiss was meant to be a thank you for saying so or just a distraction for Blaine's anger, but Blaine didn't mind either way. He didn't feel like wasting any more of his night on Cooper.

Blaine shifted his legs underneath him so that he could kneel, giving him a much better angle to kiss Zeke.

Zeke responded eagerly, slipping his hands under Blaine's shirt and tugging him closer.

Blaine let himself get caught up in the feeling of touching and kissing Zeke. By the time they were cuddled up together and Zeke was starting to drift to sleep on his chest, Blaine barely remembered that Cooper was the reason he'd come to Zeke’s room.

**3**

Blaine’s finger hovered over the Facebook app for a second before he opened it again. It launched automatically to Zeke’s profile page. Unsurprising, since this was about the third time Blaine had looked at it that afternoon.

The comments went on like that, more than 40, all of them wishing Zeke a happy birthday. With 50 comments on his Facebook wall, Zeke had to have plans for tonight.

Even at USC, Zeke had made friends. The film school was a pretty tight knit group, and several of the tech geeks seemed to be operating on Zeke’s wavelength. His department friends would definitely do something.

But Blaine couldn't shake the thought of how absolutely awful it would be if no one did anything for Zeke’s 18th birthday but post on his Facebook wall. A part of him wanted to just make sure that Zeke had something.

Before he could chicken out for the fourth time, Blaine picked up his cell phone and fired off a quick text.

To Zeke:  
What are you up to tonight?

It seemed like a casual enough text. Blaine asked that question a couple times a week. It usually ended with the two of them in bed together. There was no reason for Zeke to think Blaine was fishing for information.

From Zeke:  
Just homework. You?

Blaine’s mind spun into overdrive. It was Zeke’s birthday, and he was planning to do homework? Where were Tate and Aubrey, who Blaine had found huddling over Zeke’s computer with him just yesterday. Although, come to think of it, he wasn't sure either of them checked Facebook enough to know it was Zeke’s birthday.

But all of that put Blaine in an awkward position. He wasn't Zeke’s boyfriend or even really his friend. It seemed silly to assume Zeke would want to spend his birthday with Blaine. But then, Blaine just couldn't let Zeke be alone.

The only thing to do was to ask and hope Zeke would say no if he wasn’t interested.

To Zeke:  
Do you want to go out to dinner? Arianna keeps raving about that new Italian place. My treat?

From Zeke:  
Sounds great! Meet you there at 6?

Blaine used the two hours in between his conversation with Zeke and their dinner to take a quick shower and pick out an outfit. He couldn't decide what exactly would say, “I want to celebrate your birthday without making it a big deal!” Blaine had a feeling Zeke wasn't the big deal type.

October in LA was still pretty warm, so Blaine ended up with a blue gingham short sleeve button up, a navy blue cardigan, and a slate grey bow tie. He felt like he looked sharp, but also pretty normal.

On his way down to the restaurant, Blaine stopped at the drugstore to pick up a candle and a birthday card. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing.

Blaine only stood outside for a few minutes before Zeke arrived, walking at a leisurely pace with his hands stuffed in his pocket. Zeke was wearing an olive green Henley and dark jeans. It was entirely different than his collection of nerdy t-shirts, which was pretty much all Blaine had ever seen him wear. It was a really good look on Zeke, and Blaine felt his stomach lurch pleasantly at the thought of taking it off of Zeke later.

The food at the restaurant was just as good as he’d been promised, and the ambiance was really nice. The conversation didn’t totally flow between the two of them, but Zeke listened and reacted to Blaine, and the silences were comfortable.

After dinner, the waitress appeared with a slice of chocolate cake with a single lit candle in it. No one came to sing, because Blaine had asked them not to, but he grinned at Zeke and said “Happy Birthday” when the cake arrived.

Zeke’s eyes were bright when he looked up at Blaine and whispered, “Thank you.” Then he blew out the candle.

After Blaine paid the bill, they headed back towards campus together. Blaine wanted to ask Zeke to come back to his room, but he also didn't want to make Zeke think that was the only reason they were celebrating his birthday.

In a few minutes, they were at the intersection where they would need to split off to go back to their respective rooms. Before Blaine could stress himself out, Zeke grabbed Blaine’s arm and pulled him to a stop. Then he faced Blaine and wrapped both arms around his neck.

“Thank you,” he said, quietly. “I didn't expect…” Then he shook his head and started over. “Thank you. It was perfect.”

Zeke pulled Blaine in and pressed their lips together in a searing kiss. When he pulled back a minute later, he whispered, “Can we take this back to your place?”

Blaine grinned. “I thought you'd never ask.”

**4**

Blaine knocked on the door lightly and waited. He didn't want to wake Zeke up if he was sleeping, but he hoped Zeke was awake.

After a minute, he heard saw the doorknob turn and Zeke cracked the door. Zeke's room was pitch dark behind him and he squinted at the bright light of the hallway.

"Blaine?" he asked, looking puzzled.

"Hey Zeke." Blaine felt suddenly self-conscious about the fact that he'd come to see Zeke at all. "You weren't in writing today, so I thought I'd come make sure everything was okay."

Zeke's eyes widened and he looked Blaine up and down as if he were especially strange. "You're checking on me?"

Blaine blushed. "I can go away." Zeke was probably fine. He'd probably just overslept or been out late partying. Blaine had just overreacted as usual.

Zeke pulled back slightly and started coughing, a thick, rough sort of cough. He winced as he tried to breathe, and Blaine had a feeling that the coughing probably hurt.

"Can I come in?" he asked, now that he was sure he'd been right to look in on Zeke.

Zeke nodded a bit miserably and pulled the door wide enough. Blaine stepped into the room, and Zeke sneezed. "You'll get sick," he offered.

"I'll wash my hands," Blaine said. He wasn't about to leave without making sure Zeke was okay. "We should get you back to bed."

Zeke crawled into bed, and Blaine bustled around the room for a few minutes, grabbing trash and checking to see if Zeke had water or cough drops. He didn't have much of anything as far as supplies, so Blaine went over to stand by the bed and push his sweaty hair out of his eyes. "You're burning up. Have you been to health services?"

Zeke shook his head. "Of course not," Blaine sighed.

"It's just a cold!" Zeke protested. "You don't have to..."

"I'll be out of your way in a second," Blaine assured him. "Do you mind if I come back in like 45 minutes? I can leave the door unlocked if you don't want to get up." Zeke shook his head, and Blaine hesitated for a second. "Don't come back or don't leave the door unlocked?" Talking to Zeke was cryptic on the best days, and it always seemed to get worse when Zeke was tired.

"My keys are on the desk."

"Okay, I'll let myself in when I come back?" Zeke nodded again, and Blaine felt a little bit of warmth run through him. As hard as it was to guess what Zeke might be thinking most of the time, Blaine was pretty sure that meant his care was at least a little bit appreciated.

He leaned in and kissed Zeke's forehead lightly, even though he didn't know where the impulse had come from. "Sleep," he whispered, and Zeke closed his eyes obediently.

When Blaine came back, he let himself in quietly and put Zeke's keys back where he'd found them. He emptied the bag from CVS onto the nightstand, pulling out cold medicine, tissues, cough drops, and a giant bottle of water. Then he opened Zeke's fridge to put away the large container of soup he'd picked up at the best deli near campus.

Once everything was put away, he cast around looking for something he could use to leave a note. After a minute, he found Zeke's notebook for writing class and flipped it open to the first clean page.

Dear Zeke,

          I left some soup in the fridge. Don't forget to eat and take the cold medicine! Please text me if you need anything. I hope you feel better soon!

-Blaine

Blaine didn't hear much from Zeke over the next couple of days— just a quick thank you text and Zeke confirming that he still felt terrible and was sleeping most of the time. Blaine wished there were more he could do, but he didn't want to overstep.

He was just getting out of a rehearsal with one of his performance groups when his phone pinged.

From Zeke:  
Thanks again for the soup and everything. You really didn't have to, so I appreciate it.

Blaine couldn't help but be amused once again at the difference between talking to Zeke in person and talking to him via text. Words seemed to be much easier for Zeke if he could write them down.

To Zeke:  
You're very welcome again. Everyone deserves to have someone take care of them when they're sick! Are you feeling better now?

From Zeke:  
Much. I can actually breathe without coughing now. I should be able to go back to class Monday.

To Zeke:  
Great news! Let me know if you want my notes from class Thursday.

From Zeke:  
Sure. Do you have time today?

To Zeke:  
Just got out of rehearsal. Want to have lunch?

The two of them planned to meet at the dining hall in Zeke's dorm in half an hour, and Blaine practically skipped off to meet him. He didn't know how well Zeke was feeling, so he didn't know if this afternoon would end the way their dining hall meetups usually did, but it didn't really matter. He just felt happier at the idea of seeing Zeke.

**5**

Blaine gasped as Zeke pushed him back against his dorm room door and kissed him hungrily. There was something about quiet, mild mannered Zeke taking charge when it came to sex that never failed to turn Blaine on.

Zeke’s delicate fingers made quick work of Blaine’s bowtie as Blaine attempted to pull Zeke’s t-shirt off.

These two goals were slightly at odds, leaving Blaine groaning in frustration when Zeke’s shirt got stuck. Zeke laughed at him sweetly, and pulled his own shirt off. A second later, Blaine’s joined it on the floor.

Zeke grabbed Blaine by the hips and backed him over to his bed. Zeke’s roommate had gone home for the weekend, and Blaine has been looking forward to taking his time. That plan was a bit hard to remember now that Zeke was pressing Blaine into the mattress, one leg nestled between Blaine’s.

Blaine was a bit floored by how amazing sex with Zeke was. He'd always thought that amazing sex had to be reserved for someone you were in love with. But Blaine barely knew Zeke outside of the bedroom, and still, every time Zeke so much as smiled at him, Blaine wanted to do _everything_ with him.

Blaine’s hips bucked up against Zeke’s thigh almost involuntarily as Zeke lips found the most sensitive spot on Blaine’s neck. Blaine could feel Zeke grinning against his skin as he ran his fingers down Blaine’s chest to his fly.

“I…” Blaine said, and then momentarily lost track of what he'd been trying to say as Zeke slid down to take one of Blaine’s nipples in his mouth. “Oh god! I want you inside of me, Zeke, _please_.” He gasped out.

Zeke’s hand stilled on Blaine’s fly and he sat up, eyes going wide. It took Blaine a moment to really process Zeke’s expression, but, when he did, he realized that the look in Zeke’s eyes wasn't excitement or even shock. It was something like fear.

The effect of that look was instantaneous. Blaine felt like he'd been dunked in a cold pool. “Zeke?” He asked, knowing he sounded as frightened as Zeke looked. “What's going on? Can you tell me, please?”

Zeke bit his lip and dropped his head, not meeting Blaine’s eyes.

Blaine wanted to reach out for Zeke, but he had no idea what his reception would be. “It's okay if the answer is no. I'm not going to be upset or anything if you don't want to do something.”

Zeke glanced at Blaine and then hesitantly lay back down, resting his head on Blaine’s chest and curling into him, as if unsure of his welcome. Blaine wrapped his arms tightly around Zeke and wondered, not for the first time, what on earth was going on with this boy.

They lay cuddled together like that for a long time. After a few minutes, Blaine started stroking Zeke’s hair gently, and Zeke relaxed into him further.

Blaine was starting to wonder if Zeke had fallen asleep when he whispered something into Blaine’s chest. “I can't hear you, sweetheart,” Blaine said, the term of endearment slipping in without his permission.

Zeke shifted to rest his chin on Blaine's chest. “I'm not ready,” he said, meeting Blaine’s eyes. “To do that, I mean.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Blaine said, casting about for how to broach the point he needed to make without sounding accusatory. “We need to find a way for you to say no.” He'd just now began to contemplate all the ramifications of the way that Zeke sometimes struggled to communicate and he was already worried. “Even if you shake your head or just stop, we need to know that you have a way and that you're willing to use it. So we don't have to be afraid.”

Zeke nodded and pressed a kiss to Blaine’s chest. “I can do that. I… haven't needed to before.”

Blaine felt some of the tension leave his body as Zeke dispelled the one fear he hadn't been ready to admit.

“Okay,” Blaine said, taking a deep breath and resting a hand on Zeke’s arm. “We’re okay?”

Zeke nodded, and then pushed himself up so that he could lean down and kiss Blaine lightly. “Very okay.”

**+1**

One of Zeke’s saving graces over the years had been that he never had any trouble falling asleep. The first night in his new dorm or with a boy in the bed next to him for the first time or under a pile of blankets in the back of his car. It never mattered. As soon as he decided to sleep, he was out.

Every once in a while, there would be an exception, and it was never at the moment Zeke expected. It probably happened once or twice a year, and it didn't seem to be tied to anything. All of a sudden, Zeke’s brain would just start whirring at full speed, and Zeke would be helpless to stop it.

It happened in a fairly innocuous night in February. He and Blaine had been up late studying in Blaine’s room, and Zeke had decided to stay.

With midterms only a week away, both of them were worn down and stretched a little too thin, so Zeke didn't even question his assumption that sleep would come easily for them both.

It was only a few minutes before Blaine dropped off, curled into Zeke’s chest. Calm and happiness washed over Zeke, but sleep didn't follow it. For quite a while, he just enjoyed the feeling of Blaine breathing gently in his arms, but finally he admitted to himself that sleep was not on the horizon.

He tried to gently extricate himself from Blaine by worming his way sideways out of bed, but Blaine tightened his arms around Zeke and made a noise of protest.

“Bathroom,” Zeke whispered, and Blaine nodded and released him.

Zeke walked through the dark halls of his dorm and slowly pushed open the door to the bathroom, closing his eyes against the shock of bright, artificial light.

As he washed his hands, he caught sight of himself in the bathroom mirror. He looked exhausted, although part of that was probably the harsh lighting. The rest was probably midterms, although he hopped it wasn't always so obvious. He didn't think it was a very flattering look.

When he got back into his room, he contemplated crawling back in bed next to Blaine and giving sleep another shot. Blaine sleeping curled up under the duvet was incredibly seductive, but Zeke knew he'd only toss and turn.

He needed to find something to find something to do that was calming, so he grabbed instinctively for his sketch pad. He never went anywhere without it if he could help it.

For a second, Zeke flipped through the pages, trying to decide if there was something he should work on. One page contained the beginning storyboard sketches for his film project, but that didn't seem very soothing. He'd also been working on a drawing of Poe and BB8 from Star Wars, which was probably a better option.

As he shifted in his seat thinking about where he should keep working from, his eyes lit on Blaine sleeping peacefully and looking so beautiful he was almost angelic. And Zeke knew what he was going to draw.

It was hardly the first time Zeke had drawn Blaine, but it was hard to get Blaine to be so still when he was awake.

Zeke pulled Blaine's desk chair out a bit and turned it towards Blaine’s bed so that he could sit with his feet on the bed frame and his sketchbook on his knees, looking at Blaine while he drew.

Even in the dim light of Blaine’s nightlight, Zeke could see Blaine well enough. Zeke thought he probably could have drawn Blaine blindfolded. He clipped his mini reading light to the edge of his sketchbook and set to work capturing every detail of Blaine, sleeping on his side with one arm curled under his pillow.

Drawing Blaine this way felt something like a caress, like the pencil, drawing the gentle lines of Blaine's face, was connected to him in some way. It was wildly intimate, somehow. Zeke and Blaine had slept together when they barely knew each other's names, but this—the way Zeke got to look at Blaine to find every tiny detail of him—felt much bigger.

He committed every inch of Blaine’s face to paper as if it were the most important thing in the world. The curl that fell down Blaine’s forehead, the way Blaine's body curled in on itself a bit, the way his lips parted just slightly in sleep: all of these things made up the boy that Zeke loved.

It took Zeke a moment to register exactly what he'd thought, and he nearly dropped his pencil. Love? Did he love Blaine?

He looked down at the sketch taking shape before him. It was a first draft, so it was a little rough, but even in the sketch he could feel his own love for the subject radiating back at him. This wasn't how he drew Star Wars characters or story boards. It was so much more.

Zeke looked at Blaine and thought, clearly, for the first time, “I love you.” The thought made him feel warm all over.

Instead of continuing his sketch, he set his sketchbook down on the desk next to Blaine's bed. He had a feeling he was relaxed enough to sleep now.

Zeke climbed over Blaine and wrapped his body around Blaine's, draping an arm over Blaine’s stomach and pressing his nose into Blaine’s hair. This time, when he closed his eyes, he didn't think of projects or papers or midterms, he only thought of how lucky he was to have Blaine.


End file.
